Part two: The wardrobe

This is mainly a tale of failures but the intention for good things was there. Anyway to cut to the point. I’m getting old. True not old enough to get out the ‘granny panties’ or to own any piece of clothing made from flannel (please let that day never come!) but too old to be wearing anything that has ‘mini’ as a precursor. And therefore it was time for a wardrobe overhaul!


I actually find sorting very easy however i do need to be in the right mood, so one day last week whilst i was feeling particularly ruthless, i emptied my wardrobe and started weeding the gems out from the coal (im not sure thats a saying but lets just roll with it, ‘k?). And some of my pieces are so old they could probably start to fossilise, we’re talking i cant remember not owning this kinda old. There were quite a few dresses that had obviously managed to make the grade on at least the last 5 years of sort outs, they were first to go. An ‘oldie but a goodie’ is reserved for that Burberry bag you saved up for 2 years to own not a dress you bought from Primark when you were 19. Dress numbers were actually worst affected, finding themselves no longer welcome based pretty much on one criteria… length. I’m no prude, but the apparent inhibitions of my younger self to having no problem with showing off her pants are no longer with me. I feel uncomfortable, exposed and not particularly fashionable in something sort enough to require me to grab the bottom of the dress on stairs, no need to even consider bending over!


The rest was a fairly easy sort; does it fit? is it still flattering? am i bored of it? The usual questions really. The only new one was ‘is it stylish?’ I shy away from saying fashionable as there’s many a fad fashion trend i don’t want to sign up for, but i feel like now’s the time to put together a wardrobe that is (what i class as) beautiful, elegant (not in an old persons kinda way i should add) and full of things i love. Oh and maybe a little bit influenced by my recent binge on New York based teen dramas…..!


So armed with a newly empty-ish wardrobe (i own a lot of clothes- three wardrobes, a couple of boxes and a lot of shoes and bags to give an idea…. its a problem) i set off to our local gigantic shopping center. Its huge, Its hell. Its hot. Not deterred by any of these things i was ready, debit card in hand, to spend some serious cash. I was thinking Zara, urban outfitters, H&M; high street but not too budget fashion. I went, i tried on probably close to a hundred things…. and i left empty handed. I’m normally a pro at shopping, i’d like to think i’ve inherited my eye from my mother who is still a fashion force at 70, but there was nothing worth the money or worthy of precious space in my wardrobe. Now the aim of this was to get some good quality pieces to last, a move away from my bulk buying of Primarks stock, i was happy to splash some cash but the pieces just weren’t there.


By the time i got to Zara i was having a break down, probably aided by the aforementioned three H’s, and started to blame myself. I’m easy to buy for; size 10 if its a top or dress, 12 if its jeans. But i’ve gained a bit of weight, is that why things were looking so unappealing on? The longer i looked into the garishly lit changing room mirror the worse the reflection became, I found some beautiful pieces throughout the day that then looked dismal on. Upon trying on a gorgeous (on the hanger) floor length emerald green dress only to find i looked three sizes bigger in it and all ideas of looking relaxed and summery transformed to ‘oh dear god are my hips really that big?!’ i decided it was time to call it a day.


I’m now torn between going back on another day and hoping that maybe the A/W season stuff will start trickling in or waiting until some of the spare tyre has tottered off. At least this will give me more time to figure out what i need for this new ‘look’. Maybe i was just shopping in the wrong places? So if you made it to the end heres my question: Other fashion conscious 20 somethings- where do you shop?!






Where to start? Part 1: The pill

So now ive made this pledge to get myself in shape (this blog isnt too relevant to the PhD side so we’ll ignore that for a minute) where to actually start?

Something that has interested me for a while now is what am I like without the addition of artificial hormones? Ive taken one or another form of contraceptive pill since i was 12 due to acne and super painful periods so i actually have no idea what im like without the pill.

I don’t know what im like personality wise- am i moodier? Less laidback? (i’m a pretty chilled individual) Exactly the same?! What about my body? I’ve had a series of problems with having an ectropion (dont google it! They’re pretty gross up close…) which has meant switching and swapping my pill maybe 3¬†times in the last 7 or 8 months. And ive recently gained some weight. Are they linked? Whats my natural weight? Ive come off a pill in the past for gaining weight (dianette if your interested) and ive lost weight on a pill before too (Yasmin, again for the nosier). So i do believe that the pill makes a difference to weight. The literature however is very undecided. I’ll come back and link some studies when ive got a bit more time but the jist is they are all over the place. You can find a study to back your claim of no correlation as easily as you can to back the idea that weight gain is a given. Another can of worms is does it affect libido? Again i wouldn’t know, Ive never know any different.


I’m hoping that coming off the pill will help answer some of these questions for me. I’ll let you know.

First blog

What to write in your first blog? First ever blog that is! Ive been sat thinking about the style that i want to write this blog in; Casual in a talking to friends way? Professional? Brief and factual?…. I’ve regularly been criticised in my scientific writing that my writing is too informal and reads too closely¬†to how i speak, i’ve decided to turn that around and channel that style into my blog. Having never written a blog before, bear with me. Practise makes perfect right?


Talking of my blog, why have i decided to blog? Well my ‘About’ section basically sums it up. I’m 25, on the home straight of a four year PhD and to be honest a little bit chubby. Now lets not be too dramatic here, im 5’5 and a size 10/12 (though currently leaning towards the 12 end of that scale). However, ive never been very happy with my shape. I feel like im broader than most, i carry weight on my back and hips and ive always been terrified of my neck and chin joining up! I have another year of PhD left and i’d like to finish not only feeling proud of my accomplishments in academia but also proud of my body. This blog is a way for me to commit to taking this plan from words into actions.


I never really expect this blog to be read but hopefully it helps me commit to my goals. Here’s to many more.